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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Divorce, Children, God's Coincidence

Back to 'real life'. Walked the dog in a light drizzle while back at home momma fed baby. I pondered the daily reading, in particular the Gospel. What a Gospel it was, Mark 10:1-16

Jesus spoke on divorce in today's Gospel. Ouch! There is much speculation about what Jesus actually said and what the Church did with it. Matthew 19:9 indicates that "porneia/immorality is another issue" but Mark makes no mention of any extenuating circumstances. Did Jesus or did He not make exceptions to the rule on no divorce? Obviously, for a large number of Christians (especially Western Christians where marriages so frequently fail) this is a huge issue. Pastorally, it is a great challenge. What to do with Jesus' hard words?

Many scholars claim that Jesus made no exceptions, but that the church later did. Hence, Matthew added the 'porneia/immorality" line to deal with the pastoral situation of his church. Or his church had made that accomodation already so he incorporated it into the Gospel. The early church believed that the Risen Lord was at work amongst them (note the end of Matthew's Gospel and Jesus' promise) so for them there was no dramatic difference between the historical teaching of Jesus before the resurrection and the on-gong presence of Jesus, teaching in their midst. It is probably a helpful insight. Unfortunately, there are no ecclesial handbooks written by the apostles to let us know exactly what they thought about history and Gospel.

I certainly think that Jesus would have discussed divorce on many occassions. Perhaps, Matthew (and his group) were more concerned about the legal issues than Mark. A close reading of the two Gospels does seem to support such an idea. If that is the case, then Matthew may well be including a more thorough explanation. Mark may not have been aware of this or thought it unhelpful to his point.

What is Mark's point? It seems to be that Jesus is explaining that the marriage vows are unbreakable. That God is involved in marriage and He makes the bond ("What God has joined"). That humans are under His authority ("let no one separate"). That remarriage after divorce is adultery.

Now in wrestling with this what are we to think? The Roman Catholic Church tries to deal with this through annulment. It is a legalistic approach, but it is a legal question. I think they are on to something in asking the question, "what constitutes a marriage?" However, too many annulments are granted. When I was an RC priest I was often asked if I had done a particular wedding ceremony. My response, "I don't know, we will find out..." After all, some marriages of ten, even twenty years had been annulled! The Protestant response is to poke fun of the Catholics and then proceed to allow remarriage. I am stunned when a Literalist ignores such clear teaching of Jesus. The Liberals "cannot imagine Jesus would be so mean and demanding." Neither of those two is helpful. It seems that the Catholics at least trying. My take on things is that Jesus wants us to know it is serious. He also warned that looking with lust upon a woman (poor Jimmy Carter paid for admitting that one) commits adultery. So perhaps, the adultery issue is about insight into sin? Can someone remarry? Maybe He wants us to understand how sinful we are?

I often ask (previously married) couples who want to get married, "If I laughed during your vows, rolled my eyes and said, 'sure you will,' would you be offended?" They always say yes. Then I ask, so why do you want me not to take seriously the commitment you made last time? It is a fair question. I think it is the one Jesus asks.

The reading concludes with Jesus blessing children. That is the reading that I alluded to yesterday in my blog. I was stunned, again, by the Divine Coincidence. I wrote on this some time ago. How often, I  have spoken or written about the words of Jesus only to have them appear the next day in the daily readings. It is, for me, the blessing of God. It shows me how things can be connected, somehow. It makes me take greater notice of  the Bible text and reflect more intensely.

We must be like children. In the end, maybe that is the hope of the divorced and remarried. Come to Jesus as a child. Be humble, dependent, open and trusting. It is the hope for all of us, whatever our particular sin or failure. I thnk this topic deserves much deeper work and more extensive explication. I cannot give more time. I pray for those who have suffered through divorce. I trust the judgment and mercy of Jesus. I think, inspite of our sin, we can come to Jesus and He will bless us, each of us, a little child who  has made a mess of our lives!

1 comment:

  1. I have lived it. I know the pain. I know the struggle with dealing with remarriage after divorce. I know the conviction of knowing that my divorce was sin. Praise God it was not the unpardonable sin. It has been confessed and I have agreed with God. He has shown me why He hates divorce and why remarriage is dangerous ground. He has honored our marriage - but not without cost.

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