The Problem with Hope

Over the years I had met with this distraught parent numerous times. Her (His) adult child was not living like an adult. He (she) still engaged in the sort of self-centered activities more appropriate to a young teenager. This parent struggled with frustration, anger, guilt and confusion. The parent's expectations were realistic. The 'adult' child had adult responsibilities which were being shirked. The parent was explaining the responsibilities as well as the consequences, to no avail.

Finally, I said to this person, "the problem is you still have hope." A look of shock swept their face and the reply, "but I though hope was good" was full of sincere wonder.

Hope is good. Hope is one of the three theological virtues. Hope is the fountain of joy and the fuel to continue on in the face of adversity. The problem with hope, however, is the use of the term.

As I explained to the parent, "You are frustrated because you still have hope that there is something that you are going to say to your child which will fix the situation. You have hope that if you talk long enough and are wise enough your child will assume adult responsibilites and act accordingly. It is your 'hope' which is causing the frustration. It is the hope that makes you continue to talk and talk (to no avail)." After some further discussion this parent seemed to come to peace with the idea. It is my 'hope' that things are better for this parent because he (she) no longer thinks that there is something else to say which will make the child mmore mature and responsible.

So am I saying hope is bad? No. I just challenge myself, and you dear reader, to make sure that we know what hope is. Morning Prayer triggered this reflection. We were praying Psalm 62. Verse 6 "For God alone my soul in silence waits; truly, my hope is in Him." Reading that verse fused with something I had been praying about yesterday after a funeral, "Our only hope is the resurrection." Our hope is God and His kingdom. This side of the return of Christ we are still in transition. And hope in God does not mean that we think everything will work out here and now. Sometimes we need to cut our losses and move on. Sometimes we need to readjust our expectations and be at peace with things as they are. Sometimes we need to accept the imperfect. In a context of eternal hope, hope and trust in God, we know that some day, maybe way off in the future, but some day, a better day is coming. A better day is coming because Jesus is coming. In glory. To judge the living and the dead, to set things right, to make all things new. That is hope. That is the source of joy.

We need to adjust our thinking so that Jesus and His Kingdom are our hope. We need to be aware when we place our hope in other things (or persons). We need to keep clear on the different uses of the term hope.