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Saturday, August 4, 2012

So Now What?

In my counseling sessions this week there was a recurring theme: "What should I do?" One of the predominant motivations for people seeking counsel is the need to address a situation or solve a problem. In many cases, there is no readily available solution. If life were easy we would not need counselors. As a semi-objective outsider (i.e. not emotionally sucked into the situation) I am able to analyze from a distance. However, because I am a 'high feelings" person, I am keenly aware of the emotional content of the situations. Those in tricky situations sometimes need to just talk it out, to hear themselves. It is funny how often just doing that talking can reveal the solution. Sometimes, a third party can echo back and make connections for the person in 'crisis' (actually a Greek word which means a time of decision or judgment).

My advice is usually to determine what outcome you are seeking. {If I know what you want I can tell you what I think you should do!] In general, that is the most common source of trouble that I see in people. We have not clarified our goals, or we have a multitude of semi-articulated conflicting goals. We want to save our cake for later and eat it right now (while losing a few pounds!). And the failure to sit down and do the analysis and decision making can add to all the iternal conflict. It is called S-T-R-E-S-S....

If life is a journey (which obviously I believe it is) then the choices we make have an impact on where we end up. Obviously, circumstances change things. We are not in control of a great deal of our lifes. Plans get waylaid constantly, so you need to be flexible and have Plan B (and C, D & F). Like the woman gymnist, sometimes our foot is two inches off the beam and we tumble. In one brief moment our shot at the Gold is gone. How then do we regroup and find meaning?

Some of us are planners by nature. We walk around with a 'to do' list in our head and a pretty solid sense of goals and objectives. Others struggle are overwhelmed by options, unsure of their desires, unwilling to choose or commit to the choice. For either type it can be difficult. Each has its benefits and each has its problems. There is no one right way to approach everything all  the time.

"So now what?" Think about whatever it is. Decide what you want. Figure out what you should do. Decide what resources will make it possible to achieve your goal. Consider some alternatives in the event you fail or it is not possible. Perhaps the biggest dilemma is God. How do I think the world came to be? Why am I here? For what purpose? What have the wise people thought in the past? What have the fools chased after? Are my beliefs and assumtions reasonable? Are they true?

Personally I have chosen to disciple after Jesus. Well pretty much. Most of my life is still under other authority (Sin). Are there problems with my faith? Yes. Lots of questions. Lots of confusion. But I also think that is the way it is supposed to be. There is a huge 'future' component to being a Christian: "Watch and Wait and Stop Fearing" are the primary NT commands. It has already started but it is not here yet. In the meantime it is a struggle. There is darkness mixed with life. Death is apparently more powerful than life. Sometimes it seems 'no good deed goes unpunished.' And we can't seem to break out of the old bad habits and personal vices. I think trusting Jesus means I have hope that better days are coming. That means that deciding "now what?" has a built-in security. God provides (though in His own way).

1 comment:

  1. ""So now what?" Think about whatever it is. Decide what you want. Figure out what you should do. "

    Being a cynic, I'd say that people have already done these steps BEFORE they seek help, advice, or counseling. It's the distance between "want" and "should" that is the problem. And they already know the should of it. They want someone to tell them to take the "want" choice.

    It's a lot like people who say that God doesn't answer their prayers. They pray, God answers. but they don't like God's answer so they don't accept it. Then they complain that .....

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