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Sunday, May 6, 2012

Meditation: Steadfastness

Jesus calls us to pray and pray and pray. One feature of such prayer is the inevitable "brick wall"; that moment in time when the praying person asks, seriously, what is the point of all this? Sometimes the point is to just keep on doing it.

As a young man I was much taken with 'love' and the beauty of Christian faith. As an older man I am more aware of the need for strength and courage. Prayer, like the rest of life, demands a commitment. Some are more inclined to discouragement than others, but I think everyone finds regular prayer challenging. Part of the reason is because there is no immediate cost. If you do not pay your light bill you end up in darkness. If you do not go to work you get fired. If you miss a day, or week, or month of prayer, well God doesn't strike you down or anything. You can "get away with it" (or so it seems).

I had intended to write about forgiveness after yesterday's post, and it is tempting to jump right into forgiveness, but I think the virtue of steadfastness is foundational for mercy. Forgiving is not so hard, but forgiving over and over again is. The heart of mercy is a steadfast heart. The capacity to forgive requires immense discipline and effort. There is a reason why God's love and forgiveness require a crucifxion. The work of forgiveness is a brutal, self-giving, difficult work.

To pray even when it doesn't feel good is the first step in acquiring steadfastness. It is the way forward. I cannot say it enough, a good prayer life is a life of frustration. As God weans us from ourselves in our prayer He does it by making prayer less enjoyable. In other words, He makes us answer the question, "Do I pray because I enjoy it or because I love God?" Enjoyment is its own reward. Love is not enjoyable (all the time). It is also self gift, self sacrifice.

Being disciplined (// disciple) requires long suffering/steadfastness. We keep on going. We push on regardless. The person with the ability to do that is a person who can also forgive. Prayer and forgiveness will feed each other. Steadfastness will keep us at it when we would otherwise give up. On the long journey of faith the capacity to keep on going is fundamental.

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