"Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw Him, they worshipped Him; but some doubted."
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Even if Jesus appeared to you it is still possible that you could doubt. Some of the disciples did. We are not told which of the eleven still harbored doubts. The word some seems to imply at minimum three. Nor are we told exactly what it is they are doubting. Is it that Jesus is alive? Is it that they are reconciled? Is it that He is Lord? Is it that they are really seeing what they are seeing? It is a most peculiar toss away line and there is no clear indication exactly what they doubted.
Perhaps there is a message here...
They worship. One assumes the doubters were worshipping as well. Therein lies the beauty (and agony) of the church. We assemble to fall on our knees before Jesus. We cry out to Him in prayer. We thank Him and praise Him. And some of us doubt....
While I continue to struggle with understanding the two dimensions of causality (God does it//we do it) I am very certain that there are two dimensions. I do not believe that "God does it" means that we do not have to do anything. I have blogged on this extensively in the past. Yet, I do think God's activity means we are NOT left to our own devices for everything. We do not save ourselves. [Hence, I am even careful about saying we are saved by faith, because at times that faith can sound like something we do.]
Do our doubts mean we do not have faith? Is our doubt a sufficient cause for damnation? Will doubts always all go away if you are a true Christian, or is it possible to worship and believe, all the while having those nagging doubts linger? Matthew does not tell us. Perhaps some of the disciples lived their entire lives haunted by doubts. I personally think that there are different kinds of personalities. Some people are emotional and eruptive. Others are calm and placid. Some are intellectually curious. Others live in bliss. Some trust without pause, while others question and ponder. There were eleven disciples; eleven different men. The church is much larger today and we are all different. Yet you can divide us up. All worship. Some doubt.
The best advice I can give is to do what Matthew has done in his Gospel: do not focus on the doubt. Focus on worship. Focus on mission. Focus on the message. Focus on obedience. Focus on His promise: "I am with you always" even if from time to time you are not sure. God can take care of the rest.
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