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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

(un)Answered Prayers

Two nights ago I was watching a tv show. At one point, the protaganists find themselves in an isolated Baptist church. A young girl is missing and in grave danger. Her mother sits praying and later the sheriff does the same. The focus of their prayer is a large crucifix, one which would be more appropriately situated in an old Catholic church. The scene was poignant. The characters prayed out loud, for benefit of the audience, but their prayers rang true.

The mother, confessing her wrongs and begging for mercy, asked Jesus to punish her and spare her child. This sort of prayer is not found in prayer books. It is not the prefered way to instruct people in prayer. However, in my experience, it is a natural way to pray. When confronting horrible loss and needing mercy, I think most people instinctively realize their own unworthiness. Who can come to God and feel anything less? The offer of self ("punish me, not my child") has a reality about it. It is also, in some sense, reflective of Christianity's main tenant. Jesus Himself made a similar prayer gift. He stood in our place, so one can understand a mother's willingness to do the same.

The sheriff also prays. He is a typical male figure in the media. He is good and heroic. He is a self described "not real religious guy." Faced with more than he can handle, he turns to prayer. He admits to Jesus that "I believe more in my family than you" and acknowledges his limits. He needs help to find the little girl. In one insightful turn of dialogue he says to Jesus, "You don't know how hard it is to believe... well I guess you do." As he leaves the church he makes it clear, "I need some kind of sign." It was a powerful moment, made all the more amazing because it was written for a regular TV audience. It is a reminder that echoes of legitimate faith still remain, even in our secular culture.

In the next scene, the sheriff, his young son, and the deputy continue their search for the missing girl. Suddenly, a larg buck comes into view. The tension seems to diminish as the beauty of the animal enchants the young boy. The two men are  mesmerized as well, partly by the majestic animal, perhaps more so by the boy's response. Slowly the child walks forward, turning back, mouth agape, to share the moment several times with the father and deputy. As he stands a few feet away from the large animal, suddenly, a bullet tears through the buck and passes through the little boy. As he drops to the ground one is overwhelmed with shock and horror.

The episode ends there, leaving a swirl of questions. Is the boy dead? Who took the shot? What of the little girl? Where will this twist take our small group of survivors? Why?

My initial reaction to the scene, as it unfolded, was joy that this show was demonstrating a sign from God with the boy and buck. The sudden turn of events were jarring. Is this the sign from God? Is this an act of mockery by the show's writers, indicating how silly it is to pray? But as I pondered I must admit, that quite often, prayers are not answered as we want.

Hundreds of parents pray for lost children. We drove through Little Rock Monday and got home to hear a young co-ed, a Christian girl active in the church, was found there in a local lake. How could such a girl come to such an end? And every day there are stories just like that. Parents pray, they beg God, they offer themselves in exhange. Every day people cry out to God for a sign. People struggle to believe and await the 'proof.' In reality, it does not always work out.

Prayer is not mainly about manipulating God. For eyes that believe, there are already signs everywhere. We have a task. To live and love, to obey and serve. Whether our prayers are "answered" or not we must pray. Our minds cannot comprehend enough to ever understand it all. We must continue the journey, not putting too much stock into 'signs.' In the end, there is no proof which is sufficient. One needs constant renewal. What was enough one day fades the next.

Fortunately, our Lord is on a cross. There is an insight into the world we live. Jesus provides us a glimpse into life well lived. Sometimes it looks like a cross. Sometimes it looks like a tragedy impacting us or those we love best. But death and cross are not the last word. The prayers will be answered, some day. After resurrection. So do not lose hope.

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