Families
What does the Bible say about ‘family’?
First of all, the word ‘family’ has a different
emphasis in the Ancient Near East. They are tribal and focus on clans. Individuals
matter to the extent that they function in relationship to “a people.” (We tend
to see people as individuals, and while there is overlap the two are not the
same.)
Arguably, bible families are a dangerous place to
be. The story of Joseph, and the sibling rage which we encounter today, is but
the latest in a long line of such notorious behavior. The key component seems
to be the Father’s preference.
The first couple fail God, but they also fail one
another. Eve give her husband the fruit. When the deed is uncovered, Adam cast
blame toward her. Whatever the previous situation, this event changed things
going forward. The curse of the unequal relationship has been a blight on
marriage ever since. More importantly, the ‘fall’ of marriage changed the
dynamic for family. The first siblings make a brief appearance. Ancient
conflicts between shepherd and farmer lay behind the story, but as told in
Genesis it is a sparse tail of fratricide. God (Hebrew: sha’a, literally to look at) took notice of Abel’s offering (no
reason is given) and “looks away” from Cain’s. [the obscure 4:6-7 are more ancient
Hebrew and come from a poetic tex; sin lurks at the tent flap and desires Cain,
but he will dominate it]. The text describing the murder uses the term brother
twice. It takes place in a field. The ancient writers used signal words to make
connections for us (remember Noah and Moses are in an ark) in order to lead the
reader to study them together.
Speaking of the ark, the next family we encounter
is Noah’s. One of the sons, Ham, disrespects his father, and so Canaan is
cursed while Shem and Japheth are blessed. (Battles with Canaanites is a
recurring issue for the Jews).
Abraham has two sons, Isaac and Ishmael. Sarah and
Hagar are in conflict and the first born does something to Isaac (21:9; cf. 26:8
where it is used of Isaac and Rebekah. Some sexual connotation possible?) which
upsets Sarah and Hagar and son were exiled in the desert where God intervened
to save them.
We recently reviewed the sibling rivalry of Jacob
and Esau (a man of the field, who returns from the field to learn he was tricked
by his brother who will be a successful sheepherder. Esau plans to kill Jacob.
Rachel and Leah are bitter rivals. And now the sons plan to kill Joseph whose
dream of a field where his brother’s sheaves bowed to his seemed to have been
the tipping point in their hatred for him.
We read Friday at Morning Prayer (Judges 9) about
Gideon’s son Abimelek who had himself declared king and then murdered his
seventy brothers. The word brother appears several times. In chapter 20-21 the
tribe of Benjamin will go to war against other tribes with the words brother
and field occurring several times.
It concludes with Solomon killing his brother
Adonijah. Not long before that David’s son Absalom kills his brother, the first
born Amnon. There is something worthy of note in that story. Amon had raped
then spurned his half-sister Tamar (Absolom’s full sister). She wears a coat
described with the same obscure Hebrew word as Joseph, the only other use of
the term in the Jewish Bible. In addition, when David refuses to reconcile with
Absolom a woman comes and tells a story about two sons, one killing the other
in a field.
The field connects all of the fratricide, so that
in Cain and Abel we see a template for all the future murders and chaos.
Bible families are rarely, if ever, a model of
domestic bliss. Polygamy creates endless conflicts between wives and offspring.
Even when there is a single wife, Eve and Rachel, the offspring still are at
odds, it seems. (in fact, in the “first world almanac” the fratricide rate was
100%!)
The Bible provides sparse narratives and few
explanations, but the images are rather disturbing.
The unfortunate reality is, even among us, there
are often terrible conflicts among family members. If we aren’t killing each
other, some might “wish” they were dead.
In the midst of all that conflict what are we to
do?
Jesus offered an alternative. The family of God is
not biological. The family Jesus gathered around Himself trumps genetic
connectedness and is based on common worship, shared faith and mission. Yet,
even in that family, the church, there are horrible conflicts and endless
battles. Today as we criticize Muslims killing Christians, we forget that in
the 16th Century Catholic and Protestant zealots murdered one
another in the name of Jesus! The fractures produced by human sin are as at
home among us as any where…
What then to do?
Trust the Father’s love for each of us and do not
envy His treatment of others. We have no competition among ourselves, our only
competition is our current self with our best possible self.
Loving our “brother/sister” is to see them with
God’s gracious eye. If Jesus dies for everyone, who are we to differentiate? If
Jesus is Judge of the living and the dead, who are we to hasten the judgment by
condemning and battling one another?
There is no escaping the spirit of Cain. We aren’t
able (forgive the pun). We can, however, recognize that impulse. We can, like him,
know that sin lurks at the door. We can embrace the power God gives us to
overcome that sin.
And in those times when our impulses and sins lead
us, like Joseph’s brothers, to do a great evil, then we can pray that God will
intervene. We know Joseph’s story works out. God writes straight with our
crooked lines. So let us be people of faith, trusting God.
And remember the command is to love one another as
Jesus loves us. It matters to Him that we break the cycle.
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