Treachery

One of the occupational hazards of being a counselor-priest is that you are privy to any number of unpleasant secrets. Over the years I have heard countless stories of marital break down. It is a painful thing to watch and it is hard to hear. The twin roles of counselor and preacher collide at such times. How to save the marriage? How to spare these people the injuries and pains? How to heal and set them free to live in abundance? And there is nothing sadder than the failed marriages of church people, folks who are publicly commited to Jesus Christ.

A common theme in all of the divorces is a sense of betrayal. One or another of the partners takes it upon himself/herself to dissolve the bond, to annul the covenant, to walk away from the life partnership. People feel that there was treachery and that they have been duped.

With that in mind, I read the old familiar story of Isaac, Jacob and Esau with a tender heart. Old blind Isaac has been duped by his wife and son and given the blessing to the younger. One senses this is God's preference, but the narrative is not so straightforward. Instead, we read about the wiles of the characters and see an old man taken advantage of by those closest to him. Esau, a simple man skilled in physical feats but less adept at 'palace intrigue', is a pitiable figure. He returns from the hunt, having done what his father commanded only to discover that the blessing has been given to another. A weeping Esau cries out, "Have you only one blessing, father? Bless me also, father!"

In prayerful meditation I paused to let the scene sink in. The mighty, hairy man, weeping, stood before his empty handed father. There was no blessing. None. Jacob had snatched it up and made it his own. And as I pondered this situation I realized that the founding father of Israel (in fact, a man called Israel!) came to his place by treachery and deceit. The messiness of life....

Less we think all is well for Jacob, he lives in an exile for many years, he is duped by his father-in-law and suffers mistreatment. His later years are filled with tragedy as his sons deal treacherously with him (in the Joseph story). His life, while much blessed, is also painfilled. There is a price to be paid for treachery. And, ironically, Esau re-appears, however briefly, as a rich warlord who is full of forgiveness. So with no blessing he turned out to have quite the life. Details being scant we can not say much more than that.

Perhaps the hope to be drawn is that no matter how bad things are now, God can impact our futures. It is well to recall that even bad things can be shaped into good outcomes (though not without heart break, suffering and tears). Our infidelities are the creators of much horror, but God redeems even those false acts and uses them to create new situations. With that in mind, a priest-counselor can continue to walk with the wounded folks and whisper a word of solace and hope: "In the end, God finds a way. Do not despair."